Here is a look at the things which our own mind can sometimes do to throw a spanner into the works for some reason or another. We are often completely unaware that we are doing this and as a result may well be certain that the blame for our failure rests elsewhere. And there we may have a serious problem, for if the problem is not where we keep on trying to look for it, how on earth will we ever find it and deal with it sufficiently to overcome it?

By far the most common, most obvious, and definitely most counter-productive of these hidden negativities is giving up at the first opportunity. At the first sign of the tiniest thing going wrong, you are off, proclaiming that the whole idea was nonsensical, that you should never have believed this positive thinking rubbish, now you're going to have start all over again, you should have known better... etc. And then you're nicely off the hook until next time, when you'll be able to lay the blame squarely at somebody else's doorstep.

Nobody ever became successful without tripping up somewhere along the way. You WILL, undoubtedly, have things go wrong, like any successful person. Successful people are those who overcome their obstacles one-by-one until they get to where they wanted to go; the 'quick' scheme for instant success is nothing more than a myth, or EVERYONE would be doing it! The only way to achieve lasting success is to build it yourself and build it well.

You have to keep sight of your goal and remember that the longest journey starts with just one small step. Yes, yes, I know that you've probably heard that old Oriental cliché before and you're probably as tired of it and as unimpressed by it as I am. Well, I've used it because I like to add something. The longest journey might well start with just one small step, but it is truly important that all the steps that follow it go in the same direction!

There, that's better!

If you keep on changing direction every time something doesn't go exactly the way you planned it to, you'll run around like a headless chicken for ever, never reaching any goal, never getting anywhere in particular, and never really knowing where you are or what you are doing. You'll have joined that great band of "will-be-one-day's" who are always going to make it next week, or next year... or in their next life, maybe.

Sticking With It

One of the positive affirmations I give my consulting room clients with a history of this sort of behaviour is: I have the courage and tenacity to stay with an idea I believe in, because if I believe in it, I can make it work. The word 'courage' is used advisedly, because you do need it to stick with your plans from time to time, especially at the beginning. But avoiding failure by 'copping out' is not exactly what you would call success, is it? It's not the way to gain respect - your own for yourself, or anybody else's - and you deserve better. So stick with it for long enough for your plans to bear fruit and solve those 'running-in' problems as they arise. Your confidence in yourself and your belief in your abilities - two VITAL components of success - will increase with each problem you solve, with each obstacle you overcome.

Remember that rule: Do the same thing in the same way and you'll get the same result. When something doesn't work as you want it to, change something, anything - just do something differently; because if what you did last time didn't work, then it's probably not going to work this time either.

Whose Fault Is It Anyway?

Maybe you have had the experience of failing in the past and this makes it difficult for you to maintain self-belief; well, you were less experienced then and you had not had the benefit of the teachings of this book. Besides which, the past cannot actually exert any influence on the future; only an individual's reaction to it can do that. It's worth remembering, too, that failure is not the end - unless you give up.

So where you have got memories of lack of success from the past, make an effort to find out where you went wrong - because you did, somewhere along the line, if only because you did not solve the problems that caused you to fail. Of course, it is much easier to blame other people, circumstances, lack of finance, unfair competition, lack of support from your family, staffing problems, recession, media mistakes with your advertising, problems with suppliers, your bankers, the weather, next door's cat... and so on. Any of these circumstances may have been partly to blame, but a successful individual will have to deal with all of them from time to time (except, maybe, for next door's cat!). An acquaintance of mine once said: "You know, when something goes wrong and I discover it's my fault, I breathe a sigh of relief, because I can get control of that. I hate things that are completely out of my control - but then I can't remember when I last found one of those!"

We all know that you are supposed to learn from your mistakes. Now, how on earth can you do that if you are never prepared to admit you are wrong? In order to learn from mistakes you must first admit that you made the mistake - or you will never be able to admit that you learnt anything from it, even to yourself. And if you cannot admit you have learned something, then the chances are that you'll make that self-same mistake again, sooner or later. Or one very much like it, anyway.

Nobody else expects you to be perfect, so neither should you.

How do you feel about other people who claim never to put a foot wrong, dismissing all their mistakes as being someone else's fault? I'll bet you've got more respect for the person who can see where he made a mistake and then turn that knowledge to an advantage next time around!