There does not have to have been any crisis which would be universally viewed as traumatic; there does not have to be a single causal event or mishap which is at the root of all the individual's problems. Our problems may be due to nothing more than the fact that when we are born we are reared by people whose way of being is fundamentally different from our own predisposition.

There does not have to be a 'villain of the piece', and even when there is, it is not necessarily the case that s/he is the cause of our client's difficulties. That said, it is when we are confronted with the neuroses of others during our formative years that most damage is done. It is here that we find the roots of all the complexes, in particular the masturbation and/or guilt complex, as well as sublimated instinctive drives, embarrassment about perfectly 'normal' behaviour patterns (dating, eating in public, etc.), shame about body and bodily functions, phobias (often by example: if mother is afraid of spiders, then they must be creatures to be feared), general anxiety (again, often learned by example), etc.

A neurotic parent will tend to produce a neurotic child; two neurotic parents can scarcely do anything else. Even where the behaviour of others during those formative years has been emotionally and psychologically stable and therefore non-injurious, even where nothing other than support and encouragement has been extended towards the developing individual, there may still be problems arising from the developmental process.

An individual may struggle to solve problems with a firm, no-nonsense attitude, because their family has insisted that this is the way it must be - the Warrior instincts - whilst they would secretly prefer to adopt a negotiating or reconciliatory approach, that of the Settlers; they might learn that practicality earns respect, whilst all the time experiencing the imaginative, Nomadic, flights of the creative mind; or perhaps be taught that it is 'normal' to be one of the general crowd, while every instinct is that of the scholar, the introvert, with a thirst for knowledge and understanding.

These and other contradictions can cause, at least, feelings of uncertainty, at worst, feelings of being inadequate or a misfit. If the 'secret' urges are eventually fulfilled, then there will probably be no resultant neurosis; it is when the individual suppresses them, that they make their presence felt in the form of symptoms. Then, they have often been denied for so long that there is no longer any conscious knowledge of their existence, just a feeling of being different in some way, which is often translated as being 'odd' or 'weird'.

Attempts to change or modify any behavioural or thought process without resolving any beliefs, mistaken or otherwise, that are the cause of that behavioural or thought process are likely to result in a long haul to emotional health and may even then provide only a relatively temporary respite from discomfort. The client's own resources are at least as viable as the client's own conflicts and come from the same root - the birth predisposition and early experience. They just need finding, focusing upon, and using.

The Initial Consultation
Whatever our therapeutic persuasions, the initial consultation is an important time, both for client and therapist. The client is seeking reassurance that their condition can be helped; they are also anxious, believing that we have more 'secret knowledge' than we actually do.

They can often imagine that every single word they say, every gesture, stutter, twitch and intake of breath, every shuffle of the foot, every hesitation for thought, may be taken out of context and somehow assume great importance as far as the therapist is concerned. They usually know little or nothing of what we actually do, or how we do it, and they may even fear that we are going to pronounce them beyond help, or worse, possibly verging on some sort of insanity. What we have to remember is, that in this rarefied state of concentration and anxiety, which often verges on hypnosis, our own behaviour is of paramount importance. We can use the situation to engender transference, overcome resistance, and give our client's belief system a swift boost. In other words, we can make that all-important 'difference for today' that is going to set our client on the road to a swift recovery even before we begin therapy.

These days, it is the swift recovery that is sought and, in most cases, the swift recovery for which should conscientiously strive.

Gathering Facts
Probably the most important part of this initial consultation is the gathering of facts, from which we can assess whether or not we have the necessary resources ourselves to help the client, or if we should refer them on to either some other form of therapy or orthodox medicine. The professional must know his limitations and if s/he believes s/he doesn't have any, then that is the biggest limitation of all.

There are three questions to which I always want the fullest possible answers. 1. Details of the presenting symptom(s). 2. What the client wants therapy to achieve. 3. What they feel is stopping them from achieving it on their own. As far as question 1 is concerned, what it is, how long it has existed, and what the client believes to be the cause of it all are obviously essential information.

Symptoms are quite often coping mechanisms, like aerophobia and claustrophobia (often related, of course) and we need to look for associated hidden agendas or secondary gains. Where the symptom serves no apparent purpose, though - the fear of birds and moths, for instance, the indirect symptom - we may not need to probe so deeply. The cause is not particularly important, here, nor would it be easy to find, so a more direct approach is indicated. Reframing and the use of metaphor or fantasy are both useful approaches, though there are obviously others. In all cases, though, we need to discover the individual's own resources to work with.

Question 2 is important, because it tells us whether the client has realistic expectations of what we can do, or if, instead, s/he is hoping for some sort of 'magic' to be performed. I am never satisfied with a straightforward 'Want to get rid of my symptom' type of answer; I need them to tell me how they want to be, how they want to feel, what they want to be able to do that they can't do now.