For many, this may the first time they have directly addressed this particular aspect of their difficulties and it therefore focuses their mind on what they want to achieve. It is also an encouragement for them to look forward beyond their difficulties, to perceive that there may be an end in sight. In other words, another 'difference for today'.

Question 3 tells us something of the resources we need to help our clients find. If what they tell us seems congruent with the answers to questions 1 and 2, all is well and we can soon begin to start work.

It may be, though, that what they tell us here seems to be transparently inappropriate. In these cases, we can attempt to elicit the REAL reason they believe they need help and when we are convinced they are telling us the truth as they perceive it, we should respect that it is the operative part of what our client perceives to be his/her difficulty in life. If there is still a lack of congruence, I then tend to assume that this one is the only full answer they have given and ask more questions about their symptom(s) or their aspirations until I find out what was missing.

If we don't ascertain exactly where they are and where they want to go, then neither we, nor they, will know when they've got there! For many people, simply defining full answers to those three questions can give them a much-needed sense of direction and put them on the road to recovery even before we have done any real work.

Separating The Client From The Symptom
Any form of client-centred therapy cannot easily run to a format style of treatment, since every client is going to have a unique set of difficulties and resources with which to overcome those difficulties. Just about the only thing that I do on almost every first session is to encourage the client to realise that s/he is not the symptom, to remove any label as soon as possible.

If the client says s/he is claustrophobic, I reply that there is no such thing as a claustrophobic individual; I tell those who claim to be aggressive the same thing - that there is no such thing as an aggressive individual; I will even sometimes insist to the jealous person that jealous people do not exist. These apparently fatuous remarks produce something that I value highly in a client; a heightened state of attention and concentration. I wait for a moment or two while they struggle to work out what I could possibly mean, or if they have not heard me properly, wait for the small frown that almost inevitably appears before I explain that the claustrophobic individual is just a normal person who is temporarily suffering the symptom of claustrophobia; the aggressive individual becomes a normal person who finds it easy to access assertiveness or anger; the jealous person, of course, is a normal person who feels unsure of his/her abilities to maintain the interest of any other individual.

They usually quickly grasp the difference between actually being something and suffering it, and this simple reframe has, once again, already made that 'difference for today' even if nothing else is achieved during that session.

The Direction Of Therapy
From session two onwards, the direction that therapy takes will depend on the individual who seeks it. In any one client, it might involve some of the following (in no particular order):

Accessing times when they felt well and times when they did not.
Realisation and acceptance that change is both possible and necessary.
Looking for how they want to be, rather than how they fear they will be.
The setting of short, mid, and long-term goals.
Assessing what they need, and what they have, to achieve those goals.
Understanding the principal of 'ownership of problems'.
Understanding the difference between positive and determined thought.
Recognising the existence of hidden agendas and/or secondary gains.
The development of a coping strategy.
Recognising their projections onto others.
Learning that what others think of them is none of their business.
Letting go of the past negative events or emotions.

It might involve any of those but, then again, it might not, because I work with what the individual brings with him/her.
What is certain, though, is that if I do my job properly with a co-operative client, then that client will leave my office after each session with a conviction that something is different.

The Conclusion.
It is not important what the therapist thinks the client should think/be/feel, etc. What is important is that at the conclusion of therapy - when the client leaves the therapist's office for the very last time - s/he should feel a sensation of upliftedness, a conviction that life can be rewarding, and an even stronger conviction that their life will be as rewarding as any.

If therapy has been successful, they have a new understanding of themselves and how they fit into the world; they have discovered the resources they need to cope with the pitfalls, and joys, of life and living; they have a growing sense of self-worth and confidence. They are happy. In this paper I have attempted to indicate my beliefs about the origins of conflict and the ways that I might best help a client to resolve them. For this reason, there is no in-depth review of what I actually do, or the way I do it, on any one session.

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